Procrastinating: ‘Trouble persuading yourself to do the things you should do or would like to do.’
As of late, I have been the embodiment of this word. I have always been a serial procrastinator but never before has it affected my life as it has in the past half-year. Being a procrastinator, you kind of learn how to put off things till the last second but you do them. With blood, sweat and tears but the deadlines are always met. As of late, I have not been meeting any deadlines. Being someone who has always been able to do things even under the harshest conditions, someone who has anxiety when I had to turn in a paper even 1 min late, I have been acting suspiciously nonchalant about the things I had yet to do. Simply shrugging off the fact that things ain’t done while convincing myself that it is what it is and that I needed to let go and enjoy my youth.
I almost felt proud of myself. I have always wanted to work on my tendency to over-worry about everything and nothing in particular, so I thought my not meeting deadlines and almost not caring was a perfect example that I was learning how to relax and let go. I was dead wrong. The things that I do not do come back to haunt me in my dreams. LITERALLY. I have nightmares or even peaceful dreams that are nightmares to me, about all that I have been putting off. To make things worse, my subconscious adds it to my favourite lists that I like to revisit before I sleep: ‘all the things wrong with Sabrina’ and ‘reasons why she will fail in life.'
Before going to college, when I was still smart I used to love watching TED talks and my all-time favourite was by Tim Urban explaining the thought process behind procrastinating. I always randomly think about what he said at random moments because I had never felt seen as I felt while watching his talk. I felt like he was explaining an all-familiar concept. I re-watched it recently and have been reading his blog on procrastination lemme tell you what I found out.
In his rendition of the Brain, normally there is a rational decision-maker behind the wheel in the brain.
This guy makes all the right decisions and life is pretty easy. You get enjoyment from all the work you have done in time, get free time to enjoy with the family, get time for your hobbies and you can enjoy all that because you worked for it.
Inside the mind of a procrastinator, there is a monkey. A monkey that just wants to have fun and stay up all night on YouTube watching how to filet fish instead of being productive. This monkey takes the wheel from the rational decision guy and gets lit. Deadlines pile up, your sense of self-worth decreases, and worrying about your future intensifies but still the monkey still wants to have fun yeah.
Then the final boss in this whole story is introduced. The panic monster. You know when you can’t sleep because of all the things you have not done and suddenly at 3:00 am you feel a rush of adrenaline to finish all that you have not finished? That is the panic monster, the monkey is afraid of him but he only comes out when the deadlines are almost here.
I loved his TED talk not only because it was funny, but also because he managed to explain things in such a simple manner. Years later, I still relate to his words except I have gotten better at procrastinating and the monkey has just been having lots of undeserved playtimes. And I have never felt worse. He refers to this as the ‘dark playground’, a place where there is all the fun, all the parties, all the things that you love doing but in reality, you are not enjoying them because it doesn’t feel like you earned them.
Why is procrastinating so bad then, if, after all, you can still manage to do all that you were supposed to do? Well, a few reasons were given.
"Of course, this is no way to live. Even for the procrastinator who does manage to eventually get things done and remain a competent member of society, something has to change. Here are the main reasons why:
1) It’s unpleasant. Far too much of the procrastinator’s precious time is spent toiling in the Dark Playground, time that could have been spent enjoying satisfying, well-earned leisure if things had been done on a more logical schedule. And panic isn’t fun for anyone.
2) The procrastinator ultimately sells himself short. He ends up underachieving and fails to reach his potential, which eats away at him over time and fills him with regret and self-loathing.
3)The Have-To-Dos may happen, but not the Want-To-Dos. Even if the procrastinator is in the type of career where the Panic Monster is regularly present and he’s able to be fulfilled at work, the other things in life that are important to him—getting in shape, cooking elaborate meals, learning to play the guitar, writing a book, reading, or even making a bold career switch—never happen because the Panic Monster doesn’t usually get involved with those things. Undertakings like those expand our experiences, make our lives richer, and bring us a lot of happiness—and for most procrastinators, they get left in the dust."
True, true and TRUE. Honestly not meeting the expectations you set up for yourself is the worst, especially for people like me who claim to be independent and driven. It is a good aspiration to have, but not good when you combine it with procrastination. I have felt like who I wanted to be was slipping away because of not doing the work, I have felt dumb, useless and so unsure of my future because of not wanting to put in the effort. It is funny because you have all this YOU mapped out in the future. Still, in the present, you are just re-watching compilations of Bridgerton on youtube (they always have funny names tho like Anthony Bridgerton being the bane of my existence lol, hard to resist I tell you).
Good news though, on his blog he made up a follow-up entry kind of giving advice on how to stop procrastinating. Good advice from a veteran procrastinator me thinks!!! Anyways, his two points were planning and doing.
There are two components of being able to achieve things in a healthy and effective manner: planning and doing. Let’s start with the easy one:
-Planning (effectively)
Procrastinators love planning, quite simply because planning does not involve doing, and doing is the procrastinator’s Kryptonite. But when procrastinators plan, they like to do it in a vague way that doesn’t consider details or reality too closely, and their planning leaves them perfectly set up to not actually accomplish anything.
-Doing
You need to show yourself you can do it, not tell yourself. Things will change when you show yourself that they can. Until then, you won’t believe it, and nothing will change.
1) Try to internalize the fact that everything you do is a choice.
2) Create methods to help you defeat the monkey. And if the methods you set up aren’t working, change them. Set a reminder for a month from now that says, “Have things improved? If not, change my methods.”
3) Aim for slow, steady progress—Storylines are rewritten one page at a time.In the same way a great achievement happens unglorious brick by unglorious brick, a deeply-engrained habit like procrastination doesn’t change all at once, it changes one modest improvement at a time. Remember, this is all about showing yourself you can do it, so the key isn’t to be perfect, but to simply improve. The author who writes one page a day has written a book after a year. The procrastinator who gets slightly better every week is a totally changed person a year later.
So don’t think about going from A to Z—just start with A to B. Change the Storyline from “I procrastinate on every hard task I do” to “Once a week, I do a hard task without procrastinating.” If you can do that, you’ve started a trend. I’m still a wretched procrastinator, but I’m definitely better than I was last year, so I feel hopeful about the future.
This has been such a good read honestly, and his blog is wholesome and wise at the same time. Randomly, I have gotten up and did something productive today. It is not much, but I am glad I did. To finish off this long-ass post, I’ll just leave this extract from his blog that I absolutely loved.
No one “builds a house.” They lay one brick again and again and again and the end result is a house. Procrastinators are great visionaries—they love to fantasize about the beautiful mansion they will one day have built—but what they need to be are gritty construction workers, who methodically lay one brick after the other, day after day, without giving up, until a house is built.
Steady and slow progress is still progress. Also, screw that monkey that wants to enjoy life without putting in the work. I'll drink to myself trying to be a more realistic and decent planner. As much as fantasising about all the things I can accomplish is fun, accomplishing a goal you worked hard for is more fulfilling.
Anyways here is the TED talk, please watch it lol. Also, Tim Urban's blog which will be my new obsession for the week, also it has a cute name: Wait but why?
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